I know I keep posting I am going to do it and I don’t I just feel like it’s my best option. I am in my room 23 hours a day 7 days a week and trying to fight these thoughts all day is wearing me down. I am tired of life I just want out but have not got the courage to do it. This thought is tormenting me to the point I want it to stop. I don’t know if it is real or not. I am scared lonely and confused. I foreshadow my future life and it is worse then what ithe is now. I love my grandparents I think they are the only reason I stay alive. They have been so good to me even though I was a screw up, drug addiction alcoholic they always let me come back to there house if I was sober. I have not drunk in two years but everyday I think about it and I want to but I don’t want to disappoint my grandparents. They are like my mom and dad. I have made too many bad choices and that is why I am in the predicament I am in. Please God take me tonight.
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You raise good points here. ” I have made too many bad choices and that is why I am in the predicament I am in. ” Me too. I keep wondering if I can I overcome my past choices. I keep trying. “Please God take me tonight.” That has been my prayer many times. Why the hell I am not gone of natural causes, accident, or self dispatch is beyond me.
Thanks for writing back to me I appreciate it
I am always trying to figure this out. I am but a fraction of my potential, so do it just get the hell out of the way or keep trying. Logically I should give up on life , but no goddammit I keep trying to overcome myself.
Then there is the pain. Damn I want to be way the fuck gone but no, I keep giving in to certain people and/or something and staying alive. I just don’t know if life is really something we are supposed to persevere in or if we are caught up in some stupid mass hysteria of living. Damn if I know. thanks for your time.
I can really understand the temptation to pursue intoxication. Really I do understand, I have been in and out of addiction for over a decade, and the only advice I can give to another addict would be to think about where you end up before you start on another bender. I always end up either near death in a hospital or just barely evading arrest in an extremely hairy situation, and it’s never worth it, not ever. Who knows, this could be the time your grandparents don’t let you come home.