Life is absurd. If cant give meaning to anything I do, I feel empty. I wasnt like this before, but here I am. People have some sort of meaning to keep living. It is about their job, love, friends, hobbies etc. I cant live like it anymore, everything has an end. It doesnt make sense to keep living if I dont value anything. That value would keep me strong even if I know it will cease to exist some time. Since I dont have it, I feel like a stranger, not from this world. So, I am bored to ask “why” all the time. If you think some things are how they supposed to be, if you feel there is something valuable in life, you should live, not me.
I took some anticoagulants and antiplatelets, after an hour I will take caffeine and use a numbing cream before I cut myself. Hopefully I will die. I am not sorry, I dont care what will happen after I die. I know I can solve my problems while living, but it is better to get rid of them, since it wont matter for me anyway.
Thank you all for reading. Have a wonderful life.