I don’t have any other way to describe myself or how I constantly feel. Everything makes me anxious – hell, just joining this site is giving me the shakes and making me feel sick. I’m so tired of my existence and wish I would just die already so I can stop being afraid of everything and feeling like I’m dragging everyone behind.
I’m just terrified of death and everything that comes with it, so even if I don’t kill myself I’m screwed.
My friend jokingly called me a deadbeat today, and that’s exactly what I am. I can’t hold a job and the thought of school makes it hard to breathe. It’s hard to leave the house, hard to eat, hard to do anything. Therapy and pills only work so much.