You wanted to be with someone else. What was I supposed do? Hold onto you and beg you not to leave me? Tell you, how much I needed you? Tell you that in the end we can work it out and that I didn’t want anyone else but you? I couldn’t ever hold you down with my love. As I sat silently crying in that cold concert hall, an empty seat beside me and a broken heart, I thought, maybe you didn’t feel as much as I did. I thought perhaps the feelings weren’t ever mutual and it was a mere mirage on my part. So I let you go, wished you happiness….. and I moved on.
I met the most amazing and sweetest guy. Yet, I couldn’t give him my whole heart. My silly idiotic heart still loved a man who never felt the same and so followed, the guilt. My boyfriend deserves more love than I can give him. When I first met him, I looked into his eyes, hoping he could read my thoughts. Because at that moment, I was begging him not to fall in love with me. I don’t want to hurt him. A month later, he told me he loved me. I tell him and myself that I love him too. And I truly do, want to love him. I just need time. Time to forget you and time to completely fall in love with him. I hope you never read this. Even if you do read this, i hope you don’t realize it’s you, it is kind of embarrassing. This is the first and only time I will write about us on here. You will always be the most important person to me, more than you will ever know. He makes me happy and he won’t let me go. Does she make you happy?