January 11th, 2018 by Justnoonemuch

I know I can’t say it. But I’m missing you again. You’re in my dreams again. How many years will it be until we meet again? You were right you know. About alot of things, but I never believed you when you said you’d never see me again when I was leaving. Oh how you were right. I see you in too many places. I need to forget you yet I would lose so much of myself if I did. I always had a theory that a person is just a culmination of the people and ideas around them. Stitched together into a unique shape. And I see you in myself alot. I succeed in life to spite you, do you know that? Everything I do in life is to simply not sink as far as you. To be better. But does it really matter? But in all reality I’m much further down than you. When you asked me if I had learned to love myself yet, I told you that I was worse off than ever. My entire life is a show, a facade. I belong in a mental ward and yet I’m just so good at pretending that everything is dandy. Pretending I’m a normal Joe. It hurts to say but you won. I won’t admit it. But you won. Or have you? I don’t recognized you anymore. How much have you sacrificed to be where you are right now? Because the you I know. Would have looked down upon who you have become in contempt. I have so much to say and nothing left to say all at once. I guess I’ll see you in my dreams. And even if you will never see this. It feels good to say. Because i have so much to say to you.

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