I Don’t Have Another Reason To Live

  January 31st, 2018 by the_black_3th_of_april.exe

So this is my little “story”. I don’t have very good english and a grammar cuz I am a native spanish speaker, and this shit will be a little bit long. Im going to talk of about only 2 major problems of the other many. And this will be long

So I am a guy of 15 years. At 2009 I lost my mother it hurt me at the time but I was to young to comprehend that I will never see her again. So the years pass and I grew up particulary “fine” I guess and I succed with regular grades at school, then it comes highschool (I guess that, that is the name of ‘colegio’ or ‘preparatoria’ in english) and I got more higher grades and a studenship so I was like “ok, money”, I didn’t cared about money. So then I come to 9th grade at highschool and I meet what I guess is the love of my life and she was and still seems to me the perfect girl; smart, sexy, attractive and careful with me. So we meet us and one 3 of april of 2017 we decided to become a couple and the shit was very cool, the months passed away and we were happy with us. Then with the months I were meeting and knowing who was their family, and I find out that, that family were kind a SHIT at my point of view. Her nom treat her like a slave, all the day doing the task of the home and when her mom arrived to home not even a thanks she say, so than doing that she keep the days punish her and yelling her a lot about the little bad things and mistakes that she makes and that makes me feel sad a lot. Then with the time I or we realize how dick her mom was, she told to my girlfriend that she cannot be with me because we were have sex and we were fuck all the mothersucking day, so she never let her come to my home or even be in peace. The day of my birthday I asked to her mom if she let her come to my house to sing happy birthday and play and have fun time, but no, her mom get out with a stupid punishment because she were doing some bad things (doesn’t eat the dinner at the time) and I couldn’t see her or talk to her in that day, I was so sad and crying like a stupid. The months keep passing and all was the same shit we cannot have at least 20 minutes alone because I have a dick so I begin to be mad a lot almost all the time. Then shcool finished, we were on vacations, we though that we will see us a lot in that months but no, I just saw her like 5 times in the 2 of the 3 months of vaction and that shit about not having sex and not seeing us in weeks and now even months put me in a deep depression and thoughs of suicide, cuz she practically became my reason to live and I know this seems to be a teenager crap, but in recap, I don’t go out of my home almost never in my entire live, I just keep staying at bed, and she is my only reason to get out, the dead of my mom is now reminding me how stupid I wete for not enoying her when she was still alive, and I have almost nothing to do in live than keep open my eyes every single fucking day, and the fact of not see her and get out with her kill me. I don’t have any friend in my neighborhood and in school. Today 31 of january I find out that she can’t come to my home again, and I can’t go to her home this coming sabbath the day 3 of february, the day that it supossed to be the “anniversary” of  our first 10 months together, the reason of not seeing her is because her stupid dickhead stepdad have problems of me being in his home “”””to many time””””” or 1 day at weekend after a whole month of not being in that stupid house and not seeing her. So in recap this whole shit of not seeing us because sex, and the other part that in highschool the teacher hate us because literally we are couple (a crapy religious highschool) is killing me, al this stupid stuff is tearing me down since like 6 months by now and is keeping me at the edge of cutting my veins.

Guys I just want to be in peace with her but it can’t happen. This whole thing just make want to die, so I just have the knife right here at the side of my bed looking for answers and what to do.

I maybe write another part of this if Im still alive…

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