My phone is out of battery and i have no charger. I’ll give you my answer tomorow. Please dont leave the post.
I said this because i write long comments though
How do I keep going? Well, luck really. That’s all that’s kept me going for a long time, but the luck has run out, and it appears it will not return, now life has become pretty much impossible for me, and I don’t expect to keep going for much longer.
I don’t feel like dying as much as I feel like I am dying. And feeling like I am dying makes me sad. The sadness in turn makes me feel like dying. And there’s no stop button.
I feel like I am already dead inside. I feel like what’s the purpose of taking up space and I feel the way I do on the inside. I remember I used to be such a nice caring person and now I just have no emotion or don’t care about anything. And it’s like no one understands how I feel and I have no one to turn to.
It doesn’t bother me, suicidal wishes, I guess suicide is construed as wrong but I don’t really care if others see it as wrong it is the plan that I made that I am going to follow through on. Ending my own life makes me feel powerful and in control. It is a desire I own that I carry strapped to my chest. I don’t feel it is a wrong thing to do… I have nothing to live for. Trivial things don’t matter to me. I do not enjoy my life but it does not bother me. I just know suicide is my future and I accept it and will try to pass peacefully. I see a lot of posts on here about how others are suicidal because of i.e. intense feelings of sadness/grief or something pushing them over the edge. My story is simple, I was handed a rough card but I am not killing myself because of my circumstances. Suicide is what I want and plan to do. It is the best available option for me. I embrace it. , then I am hoping to overdose within the next short while. I got everything ready yesterday then distracted myself with foods and nutrition. I don’t anticipate getting a job but it matters none to me. I’m not interested in friendships or “happiness” I am not interested in “success” or money although money could provide a better life. It is a big world, it doesn’t want me, it doesn’t need me. In my wildest dreams I attend medical school and become a surgeon. But I don’t know, suicide is probably better than that. Lot of bad apples out there. As Say Anything says, ” The futile outweighs the beautiful!”
If there was one thing I’d want to do before killing my self it would probably be a hefty dose of cocaine but I am already on probation for “marijuana” and “alcohol” the little pansies of the drug world. And have to test every week . I can’t wait to kill myself but they took my shotgun
well.
1. there are so many places to be visited(inside or outside)
2. there are so many people to be helped and talked to
3. we may not care for what happens to us, but we do care what happens to others
4. there are still so many things that i don’t know. this one makes me to judgment my decisions in the world and my thoughts about the worlds. i may be wrong.. who knows? 🙂
5. we all have depression(everyone a different form because of different reasons or situations). some of us are born with it inside their genes, some of us got it because of their bad situation, some of us got it in a period usual for everyone but it got worse. we all do try to find ways to face-to-face with depression(or the want of committing). there are 3 outcomes out of us (being which one depends on our characteristics):
1′. people who continue to live their dreams and accept this thing as a just a “thing” to be there. they do many progresses including: working a lot, studying a lot, doing sports a lot, going to a psychiatrist as much as they can, do whatever that the depression tells you not to do like hanging out with people and etc. so progresses that you can level up their Happy-Healthy level and it also depends on their financial status. most or all of the geniuses in history, conquerors, great or supreme leaders, great scientists, great politicians, great musicians, great men or women have had depression and it is still. depression to them is ingredient to be Obsessed but the obsession that makes them Perfect. Depression to them is the fire that makes solid carbon into a shining diamond. these guys are the 1% out of 99%.
2′. people who have dreams and do want to do great but because of worse situations overtime even much worse than what we read in novels, cannot completely reach to their potential. we should not judge them by what we see “outside” of them But Inside. Inside they are much more powerful. Inside they have many stories to tell us. stories that could change our lives. they live on by their own philosophy of life. i can’t talk about them generally because they are different from each other at some points.
3′. people whom by different reasons and situations depression/crisis/Bad-Life has taken everything from. every meaning and definition. and there is pain, sadness, depression, unworthiness substituted. the four horsemen. they want to change by they can’t. it’s not because they’re weak, no. it’s because the horsemen have seized their palace of peace of mind. and there’s one thing on their side. Change. but people can change in different ways to have access to one thing. First the Change of Commitment. Second the Change of Enhancement.
The Goal is nothing but Peace, but the way is different. these warriors have been in this war since a long time ago. and the thing is will you sacrifice yourself in this war or will you develop to win?
Everyone of us has actually been into these different categories in different times of his or her life.
Life is a place between Boredom and Suffering
if you don’t suffer at all you’ll be bored and tired of life. if you suffer too much you will hate life and want to push the exit button. 🙂
It’s our choice to try to put ourselves in a place between these two. in between there’s Living Peace and Happiness.
Remember these three quotes:
1.”When you are about to give up, think of that one reason why you wanted to start.” – Elon Musk
2.”You can have more than you’ve got because you can become more than you are.
If you remain how you are, you’ll always have what you’ve got.” – Jim Rohn
3.”If you don’t defeat yourself, you will not defeat others” – Myself:)
hope my comment is helpful. sorry if i bored you
i apologies if my views are judgmental. please ask me if there are any other questions you have.
best regards
goodguy
12 comments
Yeah, there’s lots of us out there.
How do you keep going?
A happy thought. It’s all that keeps me going. Some would call it pathetic, but I’m really just a hopeless romantic.
Of course, even with my happy thought I think about taking a one-way vacation almost daily. I live on the edge 😉
Can you think of a happy thought?
(Yes, I’m making a Hook reference. Yes, it’s stupid, but see second sentence.)
I don’t know why I said “almost daily”. It’s really much more frequent than that: like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad.
My phone is out of battery and i have no charger. I’ll give you my answer tomorow. Please dont leave the post.
I said this because i write long comments though
How do I keep going? Well, luck really. That’s all that’s kept me going for a long time, but the luck has run out, and it appears it will not return, now life has become pretty much impossible for me, and I don’t expect to keep going for much longer.
I feel the same way.
I don’t feel like dying as much as I feel like I am dying. And feeling like I am dying makes me sad. The sadness in turn makes me feel like dying. And there’s no stop button.
I feel like I am already dead inside. I feel like what’s the purpose of taking up space and I feel the way I do on the inside. I remember I used to be such a nice caring person and now I just have no emotion or don’t care about anything. And it’s like no one understands how I feel and I have no one to turn to.
It doesn’t bother me, suicidal wishes, I guess suicide is construed as wrong but I don’t really care if others see it as wrong it is the plan that I made that I am going to follow through on. Ending my own life makes me feel powerful and in control. It is a desire I own that I carry strapped to my chest. I don’t feel it is a wrong thing to do… I have nothing to live for. Trivial things don’t matter to me. I do not enjoy my life but it does not bother me. I just know suicide is my future and I accept it and will try to pass peacefully. I see a lot of posts on here about how others are suicidal because of i.e. intense feelings of sadness/grief or something pushing them over the edge. My story is simple, I was handed a rough card but I am not killing myself because of my circumstances. Suicide is what I want and plan to do. It is the best available option for me. I embrace it. , then I am hoping to overdose within the next short while. I got everything ready yesterday then distracted myself with foods and nutrition. I don’t anticipate getting a job but it matters none to me. I’m not interested in friendships or “happiness” I am not interested in “success” or money although money could provide a better life. It is a big world, it doesn’t want me, it doesn’t need me. In my wildest dreams I attend medical school and become a surgeon. But I don’t know, suicide is probably better than that. Lot of bad apples out there. As Say Anything says, ” The futile outweighs the beautiful!”
If there was one thing I’d want to do before killing my self it would probably be a hefty dose of cocaine but I am already on probation for “marijuana” and “alcohol” the little pansies of the drug world. And have to test every week . I can’t wait to kill myself but they took my shotgun
well.
1. there are so many places to be visited(inside or outside)
2. there are so many people to be helped and talked to
3. we may not care for what happens to us, but we do care what happens to others
4. there are still so many things that i don’t know. this one makes me to judgment my decisions in the world and my thoughts about the worlds. i may be wrong.. who knows? 🙂
5. we all have depression(everyone a different form because of different reasons or situations). some of us are born with it inside their genes, some of us got it because of their bad situation, some of us got it in a period usual for everyone but it got worse. we all do try to find ways to face-to-face with depression(or the want of committing). there are 3 outcomes out of us (being which one depends on our characteristics):
1′. people who continue to live their dreams and accept this thing as a just a “thing” to be there. they do many progresses including: working a lot, studying a lot, doing sports a lot, going to a psychiatrist as much as they can, do whatever that the depression tells you not to do like hanging out with people and etc. so progresses that you can level up their Happy-Healthy level and it also depends on their financial status. most or all of the geniuses in history, conquerors, great or supreme leaders, great scientists, great politicians, great musicians, great men or women have had depression and it is still. depression to them is ingredient to be Obsessed but the obsession that makes them Perfect. Depression to them is the fire that makes solid carbon into a shining diamond. these guys are the 1% out of 99%.
2′. people who have dreams and do want to do great but because of worse situations overtime even much worse than what we read in novels, cannot completely reach to their potential. we should not judge them by what we see “outside” of them But Inside. Inside they are much more powerful. Inside they have many stories to tell us. stories that could change our lives. they live on by their own philosophy of life. i can’t talk about them generally because they are different from each other at some points.
3′. people whom by different reasons and situations depression/crisis/Bad-Life has taken everything from. every meaning and definition. and there is pain, sadness, depression, unworthiness substituted. the four horsemen. they want to change by they can’t. it’s not because they’re weak, no. it’s because the horsemen have seized their palace of peace of mind. and there’s one thing on their side. Change. but people can change in different ways to have access to one thing. First the Change of Commitment. Second the Change of Enhancement.
The Goal is nothing but Peace, but the way is different. these warriors have been in this war since a long time ago. and the thing is will you sacrifice yourself in this war or will you develop to win?
Everyone of us has actually been into these different categories in different times of his or her life.
Life is a place between Boredom and Suffering
if you don’t suffer at all you’ll be bored and tired of life. if you suffer too much you will hate life and want to push the exit button. 🙂
It’s our choice to try to put ourselves in a place between these two. in between there’s Living Peace and Happiness.
Remember these three quotes:
1.”When you are about to give up, think of that one reason why you wanted to start.” – Elon Musk
2.”You can have more than you’ve got because you can become more than you are.
If you remain how you are, you’ll always have what you’ve got.” – Jim Rohn
3.”If you don’t defeat yourself, you will not defeat others” – Myself:)
hope my comment is helpful. sorry if i bored you
i apologies if my views are judgmental. please ask me if there are any other questions you have.
best regards
goodguy