Ok so my gf and me been together 9 years. I made a few mistakes. First I somehow became addicted to porn which didn’t help our relationship. Then I somehow stumbled upon shemale porn which was the worst mistake of my life. I went completely oveeboard. I made a fake Facebook and Instagram just to follow trannys. Well couple days ago my gf went in my phone and found the Instagram. And now she’s telling me I’m gay and she’s going to expose me to everyone I know. I feel like the only way out is to eat a bullet. I want to be with her but I’m pretty sure she wants nothing to do with me. She acts like we could have a chance then 5 minutes later tells me how disgusting I am and how she can never look at me the same again.she told me she’ll never let me touch her again. Somebody help me I’m sitting in my car with 2 loaded guns just trying to figure out if there is any other options.
20 comments
I understand the feeling of your world crashing down on you. Especially when a devious secret of yours gets found out. I’m feeling maybe since you two have been together for so long, it might help to open up to her about how you’ve been feeling about this. There is hope
I told her everything but she swears there is more.
First, looking at trans porn doesn’t make you gay. Second, no one would believe her if she told anyone, and even if they did, I doubt they would care for long. If you can, don’t deny it, make a joke out of it — yourself. If your girlfriend can’t laugh with and at you, then she’s not the one.
That’s the thing I said I was curious and it just escelated even more. So I don’t know how to make a joke about it.
She’s been bipolar with me. She’ll cry and hug me and tell me she loves me then She keeps telling me that I don’t find her attractive. And she has pictures of the people I was following and everything to prove it. It’s too late to make a joke out of it. Idk what to do
Hey, if she’s got pictures that she’s holding as evidence against you, that’s a defense in itself. No one’s going to take her seriously if she’s blackmailing you like that.
What sucks more is that she’s hurting you like this. You say you still want to be with her — I’m assuming you do still find her attractive? If so, and you’re willing to push through this, I’d say just own it and show her how you feel. Confidence is sexy, right?
That’s what I’m trying to do. I find her so attractive. I got desensitized from porn and I’m trying to quit to show her.But she is finding anything I make more problems. She just showed me that the email I used for Facebook and Instagram is showing up in her cash app. I’ve never used it in my life. I feel like I can’t win. She’s just digging and digging and anything she finds starts it all over again. Really just feel like I’d be better off dead.
Don’t let her do that to you. She has mental health problems. She seems like a loose canon. What could she possibly gain from exposing your private business? And there’s nothing wrong with being curious. Maybe you learned some new techniques by watching those movies. Something she would enjoy.
I really hope you don’t eat a bullet over this. And I hope gf comes to her senses.
I just don’t see any other way to fix it. Either she breaks up with me and tells everyone I’m some sort of weird gay loser. Or she stays with me and doesn’t want to me to touch her. She kept telling me how she can’t look at me the same ever again.
What makes you think everyone is going to believe her?
She took pictures of the Instagram. Then she made an Instagram just to see the people who wer following me. She took pictures of them too
I think you’ve become far too narrowly focused on the problem without seeing the big picture here. Let’s say the worst happens, she tells everyone breaks up with you, so what?
So long as you don’t depend on her for survival (like she’s working/you’re not) then this is not that big a deal. 6 months from now you’ll look back and wonder why you ever let yourself get so worked up over something not that serious.
Now she knows you’re into trans-girls, yes it was better that she never found out, you should’ve covered your tracks better-but now that’s too late. It doesn’t mean you’re gay since tgirls are females even if they have a penis and that for some guys is a fetish. Big woop.
The trouble ofc is that you’re in a relationship and she’s worried that you’re going to leave her or cheat behind her back. If you made it clear that you won’t then she needs to accept that. Tell her to relax and realize every man searches for porn, not just you and some are curious about unusual things. She needs to come to terms with it.
If she’s really prudish, if this was crossing some red line then probably time to dump her because she sounds very controlling and it seems to me you let her do this to you.
Explain to her that your reputation is important and to not tell others about this fetish or you could spill the beans on her personal matters or interests. Or you could simply lie about it-which can sometimes do as much damage.
If you love someone no matter how much they hurt you, you wouldn’t try to destroy their reputation or their life in some way. Seeing that she’s willing to destroy yours, it means she doesn’t really love you as much as you think.
No need to kill yourself over this. Either try to make this relationship work or realize that perhaps it never will and walk away. Another option is to take a break-3-6 months off could help clear both your minds. There are other fish in the sea, trust me. I used to fall hard for some girls, never thought I’d find anyone better and I always did. Some incredible women out there but you do have to search.
Besides if you break up with her, why not go after a transgirl then? Just keep it on the down-low, but it’s becoming more mainstream and acceptable. Life should be fun/interesting, if someone is dragging you down, why have them around?
I disagree with day2day. The mistake you made was NOT telling her from the start. You’ve ruined the trust she had in you by sneaking around behind her back.
If I found out that a guy I was into liked d**ks on “girls,” it would shock me and I would wonder if he had been cheating or if he did cheat. However, if he came to me immediately and say, “Hey, I found out something new about myself,” I’d be like, that’s cool. I’d still have the expectation that he wouldn’t cheat or anything (and if he did, I’d dump him).
I definitely wouldn’t “expose” someone like that though. That isn’t nice and she shouldn’t be threatening that. Your sexual interests are your own business, and it’s up to you if you want to share it with the world. (However, telling your p.artner should always be your first priority so as to avoid this kind of situation.)
Maybe if you don’t talk to her for a few days she’ll cool down. If she really cares about you, she will believe what you tell her.
She might also have done something she doesn’t want YOU to know about (not necessarily cheating), and this is her way of projecting guilt onto you.
Perhaps if she stops being angry, this could be your opening to have an honest discussion about your sexuality and your likes and dislikes (the two of you). Maybe this will spark interest in trying new things, and even watching p**n together. Some couples enjoy that, and it’s better than hiding it from one another, IMO.
So yesterday I admitted I masturbated too much and she asked when so I told her. This morning she opened her phone went on porn sites and made me jerk off. It was degrading and I couldn’t do it. She didn’t wanna hear it she just told me u do this everyday do it now. After I did it she told me I’m gay. Then she said if your not gay you at least have homosexual tendencies. I really don’t know what to do to fix this.
I agree with IVY
I can only imagine what a shock this revelation must have been for her. And how ashamed you maust have felt. I agree that on paper ones sexuality should be nothing to be ashamed of but there is always some shame. And you know the way you went about the obsession points to some shame and insecurity concerning this topic. But she will need some time to come to terms with this. You both will. And trying to shaming you into submission sounds to me like a way for her to gain back some control over a difficult situation.
Ask her wether she would be open to, not immediately, but at some point in the future accept you. Not necessary the obsessive part (you should dial back and work out the addiction) but the curious inclination. And in the long run maybe consider therapy for both of you. I don’t mean you should learn to suppress your interests but it could helped you to get to terms with yourself as well and, since you used the term bipolar, she might need to look into some deeper insecurity’s, as well as needing someone impartial to talk to who can guid her in the right direction. It will take a lot of time for you both to come to terms with this change and regain a trust in each other. You need her to trust you that you love and want to be with her (if that is still the case) and she needs you to trust her that she will not forever hold this over you and let you regain your self esteem (if that is the case for her). Again, her lashing out like this is nasty but might be her trying to regain some control out of insecurity.
People can change their mind but they have to be willing and open. This takes time. I feel for you. I’m in a similar situation to be honest, but I don’t want to distract from your quandary. If it could you help to hear from someone else who is in a similar situation I might post it separately. Good luck
This can’t be real
Dump her. She is crazy.
I wrote out a lengthy post but it wont post for some reason.
Would’ve been better to tell her earlier on but imo she sounds abusive
hey. well, i don’t watch alot of porn, i’m assuming this is fetish porn. fetishing transgender people?
firstly, the words ‘he-she,’ ‘she-male’, whatever, is deemed as offensive to transgender people.
secondly, being attracted to a male to female, doesn’t make you gay. because, transgender women are, alas, women. you would still be straight, you would only be gay if you were attracted to men. (i am assuming you are a man also.)
this is not something to die over. don’t do it.