The only good part of me is the part that wants death. I’m a horrible person, and wanting the world to have less horribleness in it is good. So the part of me that wants to remove me from the world is good, and the only good part of me that there is.
I can’t get rid of it. If I do, then there won’t be any good left. So I’m going to let it exist. I’m going to keep feeding it, letting it grow and grow until it wins out over my stubbornly persistent fear of death. And then I’ll die good.