Incomplete life. What to do?

um… to be honest, I did have a lot of “good days” and lot of doors open for me lately. People around me seem to be happy for me. I should be too. But… even though I made great process to push myself into better place. I could not stop think about that person. Everyday I checked if she is okay and safe. I feel bad to say this but my life could not be complete without her. That sound like it is come from some romantic movie or something but this is not like that. I don’t like to think of myself be obsessive with her. We were just very close. Almost like a sister. To be honest, I don’t know how to describe this relationship we had. I do feel that I would not be truly happy without have her in my life… I want her. I love her a lot. I just do. I always feel safe and at peace with her when we chat and hung out together… We were very loyal to each other until I mess it up for her.

I don’t know what to do. I know I will continues like this feel this way for long time unless I decide to die soon or later. Emotions always stays with you even though your memories fades away.