Miserable

It’s been a while since I’ve been on here. I met a cool friend on this site and he kind of just disappeared. Ive been feeling really pathetic lately and like no one really gives a shit. I have a lot of suicide thoughts but I don’t think I’ll ever actually kill myself. I just hate my life. I feel like my “friends” pity me. I always feel sad and I want it to stop. I can’t be out with people for more than 2 hours because I start to panic. I don’t know what’s wrong. I’m just a pathetic loser