she got everything i wished to have

my sixteen year old (we’re the same age btw) sister ran away from home in the summer and stayed at her friend’s house. later, when a teacher found out about this, they sent a children’s ombudsman to figure what happened and then suggested for the friend’s parents to take guardianship of my sister.

our parents gave concent, but are super mad and tryna turn me against her. we keep in touch tho. so now i know that she lives with some rich people that think of her as their own daughter. they got her psychological treatment, hire tutors (she lags behind at school), go abroad together every vacation, basically make any wish of hers come true, and most importantly, they actually love her without asking for something in return.

and, like??? i still don’t understand how all of this is possible. one or two year(s) ago i was so desperate for love and care that i started to believe in the possibility of selling your soul, asking universe for wishes, etc. and the thing i was begging for 24/7 is that my unchangeable parents would abandon me completely and in contrast of them somebody nice and wealthy from a first world county would adopt me in a heartbeat. ‘that’s just silly’, i thought later, until my previously severely depressed sister started to text how wonderful life is. what an ironic story. i’m so fucking jealous, frankly speaking – our family is very poor and every single day here are only tension, yelling, fighting, and emotional abuse.

i’m happy for her, really, but MY existence is so sickening and i never succeed at at least stopping it.
hope it’s not too whiny. i’m gonna go wipe my phone from tears now