I don’t know how i didn’t decide to end it today like i told myself i would . This December has been extremely hard on me . I’ve lost my girlfriend who deeply loved …due to family calling her nasty names ect and for two years we were together . I helped raise a child that wasnt mine but cared so much for him . My story is basically a bad break up …. That we ended on good terms but not by my choosing my family destroyed it . She couldnt take it anymore as she was crying on the phone with the names they called her when they showed up at our place …. I ended up getting baker acted due to intense anger towards my family and wanting to end my life when the two years of a happy relationship came crashing down …..i loved her (Amber) and i still do to this very day . I was diagnosed with Aspergers at the age of three …. All my life ive been the lonely kid who couldn’t talk to others or make friends . All the way to High school i waa tbis way basically as a (mute) …. It wasnt until i dropped out at 11th grade i started working for the family car lot , my sister and me got along well however around tbat time my 18th birthday i attempted my first suicide attempt . My truck that i worked hard for i attached a hose to the pipe …. It didnt work and failed . I was found in the forest my mom crying for me …..she didnt understand . Im glad i was found those years ago . Fast forward to today . I’m a 23 year old male … Blue eyes , athletic build …. Basically everything i guy could dream of having … I get looks for girls constantly yet im oblivious . This was my second GF and we just connected like nothing else , we never argued …she was a waitress when we first met …. our meeting came at the end of my first relationship .
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I spiralled into depression and went onto craigslist … You know the casual thing . This is where my love story started and it ended this December . (Amber) …. This amazing lady who never done this before we met the first time talking . She did this out if desperation for her child … I spent 200+$ for the little guy this christmas and never saw him open his presents . … But back to the story … We met and honestly just talked i remember seeing her that day and was shocked …. Ive never seen a girl so beautiful …slender , green eyes , long brunette hair …. It was like seeing a princess ….and i wasnt wortby . I gave her money that day because it was for sex we never had …. Because of her situation . So i left after . I browsed craigslist again and saw her trying for more money . I already had her cell and told amber i saw what she was doing and didnt need to resort to that especially with that nasty middle aged dudes on there . Keep in mind shes 29 now tbis was two years ago when we met . So she had me come over to hangout and i offered to give her my entire tax return to pay off the landlord and which rent and food was extremely neccessary especially for the poor kid in which is amazing mother did everything for as a single mom . Within a few months we fell in love …we kissed the 4th of july and had little man with us even though he never payed attention to the fireworks lol due to bad ADHD …but hes still a amazing kid . The first year was a blast and we even danced at a Christmas party ….and slow danced with eachother and she told me how lucky she was that we found eachother . The year 2017…. Her mom dies at the age of 47 ….. I never got to meet her . We then had both cars go on us …i borrowed one other from my family car lot to help us out . This is when the unthinkable happens my uncle accused her of using me called her so many hurtful things and she called me in tears…..she couldnt take the stress and accusations anymore but wanted whats best for me . I screamed and cursed my uncle for what he did and got landed into a baker act after our fairy tail relationship ended …. She still cares about.me but the overcontrollng family of mine caused our downfall . i planned to end my life tonight … After everything i wish i could see her and hold amber one last time and hold my little buddy …i saw two of his birtbdays and he started reading ….im so proud of him ….tbis is my rant …idk if anybody has had family cause a relationship to end but i really miss her …
2 comments
You’re a good man.
Mike, from what I can tell you’ve delt with a lot and have had a sting of bad luck. Look I’m not gonna say how “life gets better” or how “I can relate” because honestly I can’t. I mean I’m a 16 year old with depression and other issues but look, what I will say is while I understand your in a lot of pain it and it may seem like thinks won’t get better hope can be a powerful thing. Honestly there’s a good chance things won’t get better for a lone time but there’s no pain in hoping that it will. I understand you’ll probably be filled with sadness and depression and you have good reason too but make sure you keep yourself at least semi happy either with friends or other things. One last thing is I know you may want too and even though it is there fault don’t blame your family, I can actually relate to you on this, I have suicidal thoughts and tendencies and I’ve been called every insult you can think of by my parents because of this and even though it kills me I know they still love and care for me and you need to know that too.