I’ve been thinking about dying since I was 12 years old (now 21), so somehow I’ve always thought of life as a “temporary” situation, no plans for too far in the future, no picturing my future. Nothing, just blank. It’s as if I know there isn’t a future for me. I’ve always wanted to be brave enough to just end my life but I always start thinking about how broken my mothers heart would be. This brings me to me just wishing I would get a terminal disease. Idk anyone that thinks like this in my life so I’m just wondering if I’m the only one?
6 comments
Just this morning I was thinking about this, and I can relate to you 100%, I started thinking about suicide around 15 and Im 22 now, not sure what to do with my life and just so confused, I pray to die and have a terminal illness…
yeah been thinking about suicide since i was like 16 now 27. n still no idea what to do with my life.
no you’re not the only one, i wanted to kill myself many times when my parents were living and as awful as my suffering was, the main reason not to do it was to spare my parents from this dreadful event. It’s a good reason to live, maybe even better than wishing life will get easier, in fact, at 21 there are more chance your life gets easier than gets worse. When your bad times will be over you will laugh about this and maybe forget it.
No you aren’t. I am 51,,, I walk around with a blood pressure that can kill me at any time. I hope for that. I don’t take meds for that reason. Its a gamble. I have my good reasons.
In fact, I currently hate I can’t get sick and “die naturally”.
I do wish for it,,,
A while back I was thinking,,, if I was told I was dying from something natural,,, how much at total peace I would be,,,, and it would be total peace…..
I feel the same. Basically the same scenario, don’t kill myself for my family’s sake, and that’s about it. Sorry you feel this way. It sucks
Not having a family or anyone to devastate is a big release in my opinion…. when there is no-one you know will really be hurt much, or will understand,,,even if there is…. to most folks, including me,, a big weight off the shoulder.
Because then it becomes all about not having that distraction…. and helps focusing on what I am about to do….