Very. Long. Rant.

  January 10th, 2018 by lovvely

So, over winter break we were off school for about three weeks, and within those weeks, some chicks, some who used to be my friends, messaged me telling me that I don’t appreciate my friends, I complain too much (which I wasn’t posting here because I’ve been so insecure about talking about my problems), and that I should kill myself since my life is a waste. It caused me three breakdowns that went on for hours, it was awful. On top of it, one of them used to be one of my close friends! I don’t understand why they’d do that, but I’ve come to terms that they were assuming.

 

Anyway, with all that on my shoulders, my used to be main friend group, constantly talks about me behind my back, calling me a life ruiner. And my final friend group totally ditched me, and that was a huge thing. I have about 3 people I can truly trust friend-wise, but they all come with cons and pros.

My 1st and best friend: K (just saying the first letters)

K is going through the same stuff I am and is actually sweet to me and makes me feel genuinely happy, but with all that’s going on with her, I’m scared that I’ll be too much on her or she’ll get over me. She’s my best friend. I can’t lose her.

C and E

they are both very kind, and funny, but they both drink and vape and just get mixed with the wrong crowd. On top of it they are popular which is scary to me, since being popular just seems like a lot of pressure. I also think I just can’t meet their standards of beautiful. Plus I’m gay and they are straight and they make me feel like the odd one out a bit.

My final thought is, everything is getting worse for me. Relationships being cut off, scars forming. I don’t know. Help.

 

 

 

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