What’s the point?

January 3rd, 2018by crying1997

What’s the point of living in this bullshit world we call reality? When I can go to these “fantasy” worlds of my own creation and have experiences so much more vivid and engaging than anything I’ve ever experienced in this “reality”? Hate, sadness, fear, happiness; they all are so much more clearer there than in this place. I can be the hero I’ve always wanted to be there as well. It’s a win-win situation. Why does this “reality” have to be so messy? I just hate it so much. I would love to just sit by in my “fantasy” worlds and watch this “reality” pass me by; hopefully because I’m slowly dying.

If I am addicted to these “fantasy” worlds, then so be it. I guess it could be characterized as an addiction. I have this feeling that the two, “fantasy” and “reality” to me aren’t compatible; but I can’t bear to let either one go. If I let “fantasy” go, then I abandon my “inner child”, my naivete, and all of my interests in works of fiction. But if I abandon “reality”, than I abandon this new “adult” me, the more serious aspect that seems so demanded. I wish I could just end, just fade away into my fantasies until I no longer exist. That is the most ideal. I don’t really want to kill myself-even if I could bring myself to do it. I just want it all to go away…

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