February 1st, 2018 by Shu

I was here about 4 years ago, similarly depressed, similarly hopeless. I want to die back then because of my family problems and because of my study. All the pressure to do well just so I could continue with my education because otherwise I couldn’t afford to pay for it.

And after 2 years I thought I did better. Life was getting any easier but at least I was numb. So it’s not like I could even feel anything. I did break down though. I withdrew completely about half a year before my big exam. And that was kind of when things really got to me. No one cares. My supposed friends saw me completely shutting down and they didn’t care. And my family was never there to begin with.

So here I am, after 4 years of self harm. 4 years of contemplating just ending it all. It’s not like anyone would even notice I am gone if I time it right. Once I’ve done my exam in a few weeks time. Then I can go. I’ll miss my dog I guess, but it’s not like she would even realise that I am dead since I’ve left home years ago.

I’m just tired. Just. Let me rest.

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