A new feeling

February 7th, 2018by itsoversoon6

Usually, my suicidal moments are very emotional… I’ve smiled my way through a few, but the majority was drenched in tears.

But this one.. This is different. I can sense the pain is there, but I don’t really feel it. I can sense that something in me wants to cry, but I don’t feel the tears coming… It’s all drowned in an emotion best described as white noise.

I’m not thinking anything.. I’m not sad nor angry. I’m not trying to justify my wish for death and I’m not worried about the people I would hurt. I guess if I could feel, I would still feel all that though.

This is definitely new…

Maybe I’m just starting to die inside, now that I’ve refused to die so many times… Maybe I’m out of ways to trick myself into staying…

Maybe, just maybe, it’s time…

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