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death is inevitable

by hated_tedah

I came here to see ways of committing suicide that would make my death look like natural.But as the site rules are that we are not suppose to give people tips so this doesnt seem to be a right place.

I am suppose to tell my whole life and problems to people who are complete strangers and they will show empathy of some kind.As pathetic as it sounds my religious believe does tell me that suicide is an unpardonable sin by God.The here after will be hell for eternity which doesnt sound great as well.Your believes might be different.

The first thing I ask is I never asked to be born so it IS my right to end it what ever they way and when ever they way i like.

So we are supposed to be sad and depressed for the rest of the life till death comes naturally ?

There is not one thing I like about myself and I have nothing to offer as well.Since we all live in a society and nobody i think is actually alone there is always atleast one person there and now I am ranting.I always have suicidal tendencies and i think there are for reasons and the list is humongous.Its always better to leave because one way or the another we all are going to die.Everything which has a beginning must have an end.Hope and will are over rated.

There are ways of going out with discretion but means to them are to hard to get by.

BTW I am 28 male with college degree but no job experience I mean i quit as soon as possible because these jobs are also very depressing apparently everything is.
Almost a decade ago i started smoking weed and got caught doctors treated me and from there this is a cycle last year when i did get a job i quit after 3 week training and a 2 week on a job and everyday on my way back home i was getting more and more depressed so i told my parents and got treated again those meds they work for sometime i mean i didnt wanted to kill myself but i wasnt happy either since then i am tutoring to students and counseling them as good as i can.but even that isnt worth it … infact nothing is worth doing … the amount of sleeping pills i take everyday should technically kill me but fuck i am a survivor but a survivor who just alive i mean this isnt life

I have never hurt anyone mostly i try to avoid that i dont even kill a cockroach or any insect.
On top of that i think if you have nothing to give to this world I dont think you should continue to live and I dont have anything not any skills or anything the finances arent great either but even if they were they would lead me to substance abuse more i abuse myself and i am a very secretive person even if i am dying inside i dont think theres a soul on the planet who would know.

So I gotta take care of somethings before I go out and to find out the best way to go.

I am straight but at this point i dont even find anyone attractive I used to jerk off a lot but even that has lost its pleasure.So I am a virgin but I did fool around with a girl at the age of 18 who wasnt very pretty but i was in love i guess that wears off too so i broke it off in a couple of months and that had been on and off for some years the last time we got physical she got drunk and sucked my penis but i was too drunk to ejaculate so we just cuddled and she passed out and after some time so did I but I woke up before her this whole thing lasted for some hours We dont consume a lot of alcohol from where i am and i dont even remember how long ago was that.

To sum it up which is quite difficult I am highly unstable emotionally not that this has ever affected anyone because i cant take it out on anyone and i think the blames on us rather than to put it on others.

I dont even know why i came here spilled everything out but then IDGAF attitude i always have.


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Cause of Death: Suicide 2/14/2018 - 6:23 pm

Well I have read through your post and I was going to talk some sense with you about god, religion, medications, feelings and your future outlook.. but with viewing your last paragraph I can tell you are unable to engage in a sensible conversation! Yes, a virgin, you are, that is fine to say. Save your gory details for the fanfiction novel. Ahem.

Cause of Death: Suicide 2/14/2018 - 6:24 pm

Although, gratos to you in your work with tutoring and mentoring. Keep it up.

hated_tedah 2/14/2018 - 6:37 pm

I welcome all judgments with open arms i am not being defensive i just wanted to let it all out although there was a time i would argue about everything but those days are over now i wait and plan but this comment of mine shows a little bit of it still left … rest assured its fading

Cause of Death: Suicide 2/14/2018 - 7:36 pm

Your problems seem of the fitting material to warrant you to a counselor. I do not always recommend this. Some people do not fit with counselors. I am seeing a counselor can do you good. If she is a good console

oxygen 2/22/2018 - 11:49 pm

I hope your still around I don’t know how else to put it but you seem interesting

hated_tedah 3/21/2018 - 7:50 am

lol really yeah still around still finding the perfect way dont worry i might have failed at life will not fail at death

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