I’m a big fan of anti-jokes. Here are a few of my favorites.
An Irishman walks out of a bar.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.
A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation.
A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. “Long day?” the bartender asks. “No, all days are 24 hours long” the man replies, amazed at how uneducated the bartender is.
Some may find these jokes a bit anticlimactic, but kinda the point lol. Anyway, hope you enjoy these and have a good day 🙂
Anti joke: How many infants does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They possess neither the manual dexterity or physical coordination to accomplish such a task. (Stolen from a very old episode of Cheers. As told by Frasier Crane.)
So, Sister Mary is looking out the window of the convent, and sees a homeless man sitting on the curb. Feeling like helping out, she puts twenty dollars into an envelope, along with a note that says “Don’t despair. – Sister Mary.” She brings it to him. He opens it, looks at the cash, reads the note, stands up, shrugs his shoulders, and walks away without saying a word. Sister Mary returns to the convent feeling a bit slighted, but secure knowing she helped out a fellow human.
The next day, there’s a knock at the door of the convent. She opens it, and there is the homeless man. He hands her the same envelope, which is now overflowing with cash.
“What is this?” she asks. He answers “Its your winnings. Don’t Despair paid twelve to one in the seventh.” 🙂
^ Gawd works in mysterious ways, and he obviously pulled through here.
Horses & boats always seem to get the best names, no one ever names their child “The Other Woman”.
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm. He says: “A beer, please! And one for the road!”
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouts: “Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!” The doctor replies: “I know. I amputated your arms.”
Q: Why can’t dinosaurs talk?
A: Because they’re all dead!
Q: What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A: Likalotapus.
Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A: A fsh.
A dwarf who was a mystic escaped from a jail. The call went out that there was a small medium at large.
Q: What’s green and has wheels?
A: Grass. I lied about the wheels.
14 comments
I’m a big fan of anti-jokes. Here are a few of my favorites.
An Irishman walks out of a bar.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.
A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation.
A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. “Long day?” the bartender asks. “No, all days are 24 hours long” the man replies, amazed at how uneducated the bartender is.
Some may find these jokes a bit anticlimactic, but kinda the point lol. Anyway, hope you enjoy these and have a good day 🙂
Anti joke: How many infants does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They possess neither the manual dexterity or physical coordination to accomplish such a task. (Stolen from a very old episode of Cheers. As told by Frasier Crane.)
Nice one lol
“A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation.”
This is starting to grow on me. Good one.
Q: How many existential nihilists are needed to change a light bulb?
A: It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters.
🙂
So, Sister Mary is looking out the window of the convent, and sees a homeless man sitting on the curb. Feeling like helping out, she puts twenty dollars into an envelope, along with a note that says “Don’t despair. – Sister Mary.” She brings it to him. He opens it, looks at the cash, reads the note, stands up, shrugs his shoulders, and walks away without saying a word. Sister Mary returns to the convent feeling a bit slighted, but secure knowing she helped out a fellow human.
The next day, there’s a knock at the door of the convent. She opens it, and there is the homeless man. He hands her the same envelope, which is now overflowing with cash.
“What is this?” she asks. He answers “Its your winnings. Don’t Despair paid twelve to one in the seventh.” 🙂
^ Gawd works in mysterious ways, and he obviously pulled through here.
Horses & boats always seem to get the best names, no one ever names their child “The Other Woman”.
Lol! No kidding.
The FCC is investigating Ajit Pai for corporate collusion.
Funniest thing I’ve read all week.
Hi Rivets;
How’s about we start a band called Troll Factory?
No one else has that name.
Spitting out ideas here, going to sleep soon, just thinking out loud.
I’m playing guitar, you can sing.
Here are some jokes I got from the Game Grumps:
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm. He says: “A beer, please! And one for the road!”
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouts: “Doctor! Doctor! I can’t feel my legs!” The doctor replies: “I know. I amputated your arms.”
Q: Why can’t dinosaurs talk?
A: Because they’re all dead!
Q: What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A: Likalotapus.
Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A: A fsh.
A dwarf who was a mystic escaped from a jail. The call went out that there was a small medium at large.
Q: What’s green and has wheels?
A: Grass. I lied about the wheels.
Q: What do toy trains and breasts have in common?
A: Both were designed for children, but grown men seem to enjoy them the most.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks ” why such a long face? “.