So, I was in the middle of looking up the best ways to kill myself when a friend knocked on my door and asked if she could borrow a skirt. After she left, I went right back to doing what I was doing before and somehow it was the funniest thing. Like I was laughing hysterically. I mean I felt so shitty, yet I was still able to interact with her normally, and she didn’t even notice anything was up. I don’t know if this makes any sense, but just thought I’d share.
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At one point I had a suicide partner. She texted me while I was standing in line at a restaurant with people from church. It was surreal reading and responding to her text about our hoped for departure date while in the company of people who no idea how serious those messages were.
It makes perfect sense. We wear a mask. And we are quite good at it.
This makes all the sense
I do this all the time
And then as soon as I get alone, all the laughs I had make me feel sick.
Why was I doing that?
The more I laugh with others, the more I cry alone.
Good luck