I don’t think I can continue for much longer…

February 14th, 2018by lovedOnce

Everyday I have the idea, I feel this despair and it’s difficult to hide.

I feel the to end with everything. The nonsense of killing myself is turning to be reasonable. I don’t like to live, I don’t like feel the pain, the loneliness. My friends are gone, the love of my life is gone. The only thing I do now is work. I work 15h-16h a day, seven days a week. Not because my work needs me, but because I need work.

I’m afraid to die. I wish I had made different choices. I wish I have never tell you that I was in love. If have not told you, probably my life better. For sure I’d be living a lie, but it would be better.

I want all this pain, this noise, disappear. Sometimes I believe I’m gonna get up from my bed and kill myself. Without think, without not even knowing what I’m doing. And then finally I’ll be free.

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