Love does not exist at all, not in the way I hoped it did. I had hoped that when I met him that we would become good friends, then best friends and then bond closer and closer.
We are friends-we are best friends, but I want to be closer, I want to provide him with all of his emotional needs, but he won’t open up. I did open up to him, but he likes me better when I’m less emotional and more surface.
I just feel empty about it. I know that conventionally I am being ridiculous.
sometimes there is a situation that comes up where he has the has the choice of playing with them (friends and legit random people online), or play with me. this has happened several, several times. he always chooses them, not a moment thought, like choosing to play with just me isn’t even a choice.
I know this is a petty, I know I shouldn’t let this get to me.
the thing is, I know that I don’t need anyone else. all I need is him, but he seems to need more then just me, he needs his friends, he needs the acceptance on society.
I wanted the kind of love where all we needed were each other, you know? everyone keeps telling me I’m wrong for wanting that. “he just needs his friends” people say. but I don’t need my friends, I don’t want friends, I don’t care what other people think of me, I have no type of desire for anyone or anything else, just him. we’ve been together two years, his indifference for me only grows, I thought we’d get closer as time grew but we just get further and further away. I’ve tried to tell him how I feel, that he doesn’t love me the way I love him. He is special to me, I’m not special. I’ve never liked anyone else on this planet, yet I could have been any girl. he’ll say other wise, but I really could have been anyone. why am I even here?
I should just die.
4 comments
Perhaps you are young and have yet discovered.
Sometimes people aren’t interested and you NEED to move on.
One day a person will feel the same you feel, but toward you. And you perhaps won’t feel the same. You would definite know that the other person is wasting his time and energy, because he believe in a false future. This moment, you are that person.
Stay strong.
Might need to accept that they aren’t into you and move on. Would be better to do that instead of hoping one day the other person will wake up and suddenly ‘want you’ in that way. Doesn’t work like that.
As Urm8451n and spectralgiraffe wrote,maybe you should move on.It’s difficult,yes.But it’s probably the best thing you can do.You’re 20-21 years old and there’s a whole world in front of you.I don’t know his age,but if he’s in the same age or around your age,this is what most boys do.Hang out with their friends,having fun etc,so don’t feel bad about yourself.
You can find someone else he must not be all that wonderful. Two years is awhile to a short life but there are other ways to spend your time. Try not to get trapped!