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I was raped…

by AJ

On the 29th of December.
I lost my virginity.
To my now ex boyfriend.
I didn’t say no.
But I most definitely didn’t say yes.
I was too scared.
He was emotionally manipulative and I knew that “no” wasn’t an answer to him.
So I kept my mouth shut.
I lay there.
And took it.
It only occurred to me today that it was wrong.
I’m a fucking idiot.
But now I can’t breath.
I want to rip my skin off.
Every part he touched now burns with repulsion and I can’t take it.
Fuck

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10 comments

mountaingoat 2/1/2018 - 2:07 pm

How old are you?

AJ 2/2/2018 - 3:50 am

18.

Ivy 2/1/2018 - 2:18 pm

Go to the police and report him for sexual assault. If he did it to you, he’ll keep assaulting/raping other people without consent, unless he’s charged with a crime.

AJ 2/2/2018 - 3:50 am

There’s no evidence. It’s pointless.

freeroma 2/2/2018 - 4:32 am

There’s a forum I sometimes go on, mdjunction… They have a rape support section. There’s people who have a wide range of experiences and advice from such..
I say this because I honestly don’t know what could help ease anything for you. I relate to the skin thing, and I try to go someplace calming when it appears but that’s not always an option.
I’m sorry this happened, as small as that is.

AJ 2/3/2018 - 3:39 pm

It’s okay thank you.

iamdarling 2/2/2018 - 2:24 pm

tell the police. even if you have no evidence or proof.

AJ 2/3/2018 - 3:40 pm

What’s the point in that ?

FarahLajeenNourAlDeen 2/2/2018 - 3:56 pm

🙁
hey Angel (yup, i still remember ur previous name) <3

i don't know if you'll remember
we talked some time ago…

I'm so so sorry that this happened

you had enough troubles before that
& i could only imagine how much weight this adds on you

& as much as i know that it's very very difficult to think straight right now
i need to ask you this

if you imagine both scenarios
which brings you comfort
or at least less pain :

if you report it & it becomes a case with the possibility that you'll win it

or if you don't report it at all

?

regardless,
i just want you to know that my heart is with you Angel
& i'm here for you sweetness

it's okay
<3
big big hug
xo

AJ 2/3/2018 - 3:41 pm

I waste everyone’s time if I report it with no evidence and that will just make me feel worse but thank you.

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