I’m not sure why I’m this way but my mind seems to twist everything into a spiraled mess. Leaves me hating myself. I wish I could change that but apparently it’s getting worse. I don’t care about me, I want to be dead but I fear of any afterlife. I just want this off like a switch. I don’t have any desire to do any of this anymore. living seems to become unappealing and a hardship of torture for me. I want to be isolated and deliberately find ways to do so. Interaction with people I don’t want, don’t need. I find enough babbling insidious thoughts to keep me busy. I’m not sure how to be. I’m just totally lost inside this torment that I create for myself. My brain wont stop. My family hates me. Doesn’t want me around and I feel a blight. So, how do I fix this. I don’t. I take my own life and check out. Out of the picture forever.
Note to self: Fuck you. Cursed bastard….. do it. do it. do it.