Lost hope ready to go

February 5th, 2018by Brokenlostsoul

The fear of going to hell can only hold me back for so long. My paranoia has gotten the best of me and now I have severe depression.  No energy ,ruminating bad thoughts that terrorize me all day long. I’m in hell. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. I am fatigued all day my body feels sick . I want to sleep to get away from the thoughts but cant. I’m almost over the edge and ready to snap. I have not drank alcohol for two years but almost ready to drink again and live homeless I don’t care anymore it’s the only thing to stop these thoughts. I can’t just get over it. I have tried every medication over the years and nothing has really helped . I am on abilify which I just started a month ago no results.hoping when they increase the dose Thursday I will feel it.I’m already in hell I just want out maybe by next week I won’t be here if there is no affects from meds. Please God take me before then peacefully before I have to do it.

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