The fear of going to hell can only hold me back for so long. My paranoia has gotten the best of me and now I have severe depression. No energy ,ruminating bad thoughts that terrorize me all day long. I’m in hell. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. I am fatigued all day my body feels sick . I want to sleep to get away from the thoughts but cant. I’m almost over the edge and ready to snap. I have not drank alcohol for two years but almost ready to drink again and live homeless I don’t care anymore it’s the only thing to stop these thoughts. I can’t just get over it. I have tried every medication over the years and nothing has really helped . I am on abilify which I just started a month ago no results.hoping when they increase the dose Thursday I will feel it.I’m already in hell I just want out maybe by next week I won’t be here if there is no affects from meds. Please God take me before then peacefully before I have to do it.
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4 comments
You’re going through some bad time but things will get better.
I also have a fear of going to hell for ending my own life, but I like to believe the God we believe in is merciful. They say that he never gives us more than we can handle… so I don’t know. Feels like he trusts us with too much sometimes.
Isn’t good to drink on pills. I think living homeless would be a dandy thing as long as you can walk the streets without strangers interfering. A sunny day homeless in the hood would be a great day. Drinking a couple beers in the hood is a good time usually.
Not in the winter though, god damn it, not in the winter.