I know deep down I’m a good person. Despite making the occasional bad decisions, I never try to never hurt anyone.
Tbe ugly is that my suicide will hurt the people I love most. Destroy.
I hope I’m making the right choice by going through it despite that.
My fear is by sticking around I’ll hurt people even more. As I deteriorate below what is considered a functional adult. My loved ones will only pity me as time progress. Their pity turns to animosity if they decide to care for me financially. And animosity turns ugly as life goes on.
I don’t want to be a burden.
Better that I die and hurt them now. Bad? Perhaps. But, it’s good in the long run. Better than Becoming an ugly thorn in their side as years become decades.
If I choose to not accept help, I’ll become homeless. Which is less desirable than death. And the results would be the same. Pity, animosity and ugliness from the people I love most.
So I go.
3 comments
I know what that’s like.
I hope something miraculous happens for you and all your troubles miraculously disappear. Or I hope something dumb happens and you find a dumb reason to stick around even for another hour.
If anything, I hope that whatever you decide to do is the best option for you. The least anyone deserves is the option to die happy.
I hope everything works out.
Thank you. I hope the same. That we both take the happinest route
It’s not pity when your loved ones care about you and want to help you.Caring about you and helping you gives them joy and also gives them a purpose in life.And with their help you go on and you try to achieve whatever you want.And then you give them something back for all the help that they gave to you.They love you and that’s a good thing.Don’t blame yourself about that.If you kill yourself,it’ll be worse.They ‘ll have to live their whole lives thinking about your suicide.It’s not worth it.Think that if you accomplish your goals,you will then make them happier.And also,there’s not such thing as an ”functional adult”.No one’s perfect,everybody has problems,great or little,for a brief or a long time.Don’t feel bad about this.