Time to pick myself up [ My good bye note]

  February 5th, 2018 by Urm8451n

With days going on, I learn more and more about myself.

I had it hard in my life. I still am alone. I hid anything I can from people who know me in person.

But sometimes, I feel like I had enough.

I decided, hope for long, to stop crying and ranting about my life. I want to move on, and IF my focus will stay on – “what is bad in my life”, or what bothers me, or all those horrible things that are living in my past and present – then I would never overcome those demons.
If I would stop thinking about them, and giving them a place in my life, then they would loss strength. It is different than hiding them, because they will be under my control. I would decide that monetary problems aren’t that a big deal. I would decide that coping with dyslexia is okay. Will give a place for me to relax while suffering from abdominal pain until the pain killers start working.
I will give my mom the place in my heart to be appreciated and I will give her a shoulder she could rest on.
I will cope with my lack of time for friends and will deal my time better.
I will find motivation for studying and living where ever I can find.

You see?
Thinking about and feeling my demons has become my reality. Now it is time for me to stop bothering myself on those thoughts. It is time for me to move on and let those feelings die.

I accomplished enough in my life to cut off all those insecure parts of me.
I learned and got burnt enough times, to know I can cope with anything.

Right, I don’t say it is easy, actually – for me at least – it is really hard.
But I say I should over come my fears, pain , and demons [ including problems that are occurring in the present like monetary problems, suicidal mom and etc].

So today, I’m picking myself up.
I hope you do well on your own journey guys.
I hope you will have the strength to overcome your problems, and understand they are temporary. I wish for you to find your characteristics that will lead you through your own hell. I hope you will develop a man of honor when in few weeks, months, or years, you will pass this phase.

My life didn’t change that much, but my mind has.
I do my best to get my life on the tracks. You are welcome to read my other posts to understand what I’m talking about.
This site has saved me from suicide. I hope I won’t need it anytime soon.

Please, take some of the words I said, into your life guide.
I don’t undermine any of your problems. Just please, make sure you are focusing on coping with them, more than, focusing on them.

Stay strong, Be brave, Your friend, – Jac.

ps: temporary is a catch; You don’t know how long it will take, you don’t know if you will ever over live your problems, but things are gone after an amount of time.

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