You have to succeed as bad as you want to breath

February 9th, 2018by Letmyheartsing

Yesterday my case manager came to my house and he left me thinking. These aren’t his exact words but this is what he said.

“You are not in school, there is no reason, no damn excuse your mom should have to come home to a dirty house! You should walk your dog everyday! You should walk up the street to the library every day! All you do is sit the house and do nothing!”

Any of it didn’t offend me(in a way)because I respect him for letting me know what I’m doing wrong. He doesn’t mean it to hurt my feelings although it came out angry. But my excuse is I’m too depressed to do anything. It hurts my feelings because I’m not trying to learn things at 16 that I should and he’s pointing it out.

His point is that when I try do something there’s always an excuse. For an example walking the dog. My excuse is its too cold, my feet hurt, my back hurt, I’m too depressed, there’s no point in doing it. I understand what I’m lagging in doing, Im just too scared to fight through.

At the end if the day I know that if I want to succeed in life its going to hurt until I achieve it. That billion-dollar business, all those real estate properties, that luxury car, that mansion, wife, kids, money, happiness. I know, that it takes blood, sweat, and tears. And I can’t get it staying in the comfort zone or stuck in a some depressive jail or something. I need to beat that b**tch inside. I want to be stronger.

But it’s so so so hard. I feel like I can’t do it. I feel like I’m not meant for it. That’s why I’m on this website. People all over the internet say things they wouldn’t say to my face.

I don’t even love myself. But I want to change. No! I need to change.

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