Always tired. Never can sleep.
Always lonely. Never wants to leave my home.
Always working. Never have any money.
Always around kids. Never can have any of my own.
Always needs. Never accepts.
I just needed a vent session so here it is.
I hate how I always do one thing and never the other. I’m always depressed never happy and it’s just super annoying. Most people say they can’t remember a time they were happy. Is bad that I feel bad that I can remember a time I was? I didn’t have a horrible childhood. I was adopted and my adoptive parents were and are amazing but they are also very christian which is fine I love anyone whatever their belief I accept a person for who they are not what they believe (I’m an atheist) however they homeschooled me. Which made me different, plus I was fat. Prime young preteen for the mean kids. They they found out I was adopted and they filled my head with how my real parents didn’t even want me. I know all that’s silly compared to the childhood others have endured but it still started my sadness, then at 17 bad things happened and I had 11 years of hell and bullshit that I was to weak and scared to get out of, but at 28 I finally took my life into my own hands and made a change for the better thinking that would make life better but here I am 32 and bad things are still happening, no matter where I go what I do, what life changes I make, something bad happens, things will be almost tolerable for a month or two then bam depression followed by something tragic cause humans are shitty, it’s just getting to be to much and idk how to deal anymore. I want it all to just be over.