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I feel like I have to be a hoe to be happy

by itzkourt

Im currently talking to multiple guys at once. Neither of them know but I have way too much respect for each of them to think that they’re nothing to me. I spend my time with them and help them if the have issues. My relationships never work out and I am very depressed on the inside, not sure if it is because of this but I feel like having someone there will make me feel better. Unfortunately I have to deal with the immaturity of males of this generation who temporarily want me for sex. I am a black girl and not the desired mixed girl with beautiful features so I have to struggle to keep a decent guy on my hands. Having multiple people prevents me from feeling that I have to struggle to keep someone’s attention. Believe me, I’ve tried, and I’m not even boring, just reallyyyy goofy. I feel that life is just not worth living sometimes, no male figure (my father, my brothers included) has ever respected me and I feel like selling my soul (letting them use me for sex) to feel important, even if it’s temporary, I just hate myself and I’m on my last straw I swear.

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Minxtou 3/20/2018 - 3:14 am

I sometimes feel the same way, that the only way I can get attention from men is to throw myself at them. It feels good for the moment, but then later I am so disgusted with myself.

I just crave the attention, and I don’t know that to do about it either.

spectralgiraffe 3/20/2018 - 8:25 pm

I used to be like this too years ago, online. I’m rather ashamed of that. But… I stopped.

bd2342f2 6/28/2018 - 5:09 pm

Have some more respect for yourself first. At least you’re smart enough to know that you deserve respect; but you have to give it to yourself before you can truly accept it from others.

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