Im currently talking to multiple guys at once. Neither of them know but I have way too much respect for each of them to think that they’re nothing to me. I spend my time with them and help them if the have issues. My relationships never work out and I am very depressed on the inside, not sure if it is because of this but I feel like having someone there will make me feel better. Unfortunately I have to deal with the immaturity of males of this generation who temporarily want me for sex. I am a black girl and not the desired mixed girl with beautiful features so I have to struggle to keep a decent guy on my hands. Having multiple people prevents me from feeling that I have to struggle to keep someone’s attention. Believe me, I’ve tried, and I’m not even boring, just reallyyyy goofy. I feel that life is just not worth living sometimes, no male figure (my father, my brothers included) has ever respected me and I feel like selling my soul (letting them use me for sex) to feel important, even if it’s temporary, I just hate myself and I’m on my last straw I swear.