To make a long story short, there is this girl who I am SO MADLY IN LOVE WITH, and she is getting married in July of this year. I know I should be happy for her, but to be honest, I am absolutely 100% PISSED OFF.
WHY DO ALL THESE GREAT THINGS HAVE TO HAPPEN TO SO MANY OTHER PEOPLE, when literally NOTHING good ever happens to me anymore?????? Why must the ONE girl I like enough to want to marry, HAVE TO BE GETTING FUCKING MARRIED?????? Don’t bother telling me to find another girl, because I have NEVER IN MY LIFE liked a girl as much as I have liked this girl. ALL MY DREAMS GET FUCKED 100% OF THE TIME AND I AM SO
FUCKING TIRED OF IT. I have had other dreams too that have gotten absolutely FUCKED for me, but this one is definitely the most devastating dream to get fucked. You literally could not IMAGINE how much this whole thing is devastating me because
1. I wish it was happening to me
2. She is the only girl I have ever TRULY wanted to get married to.
I look at all the people I know, and a great big portion of them are married and have happy lives. Why the FUCK is it so FUCKING hard to be one of them?????? People like that exist all the FUCK around me.
Why is god intentionally mocking and sabotaging me like this to NO END????????? I hate god for a TON of reasons and I even have a post on here where I talked about this. I will say this though: god is a sabotaging , mocking piece of SHIT who I lose respect for EVERY DAY. I stopped respecting him a LONG time ago by the way. And I hate him more and more each day.
Also why must I be TOTALLY different than literally 99.999% of people in the whole world??????? This pisses me off so badly that I just want to die at times. I am SO tired of my life, and how it ONLY gets worse with time in different ways.
I don’t feel that bad, as I am typing this right now, but as soon as the day this happens, I am SURE that I am going to feel worse than I have EVER felt in my life. I am DREADING the day this happens. This will probably make my depression 10 BILLION times even worse.
I don’t know how to end this, but I just finally want to say FUCK MY LIFE!!!!!!!
6 comments
I was DEEPLY in love with this girl when I was younger. Met her when I was about 17. She was dating a friend (of course). I wasn’t in love right away mind you. We hung out a lot just because we were friends too, like me and all my “friends”. Anyway… We all did drugs of course. I was 19 or 20 when one day I ate too many shrooms with her and her new boyfriend and got all confused in the middle of the trip. Me and her, somehow, were kind of cuddling or sitting close and (I’m tripping hard) she says “Should we do it?”. I didn’t know what she meant and I assume I had been day dreaming about me and her together as more than friends while we sat close and I was GONE on this trip. I guess she was asking if we should call the cops or something (I would later learn) but I stood up and took my pants off because I was assuming she meant should we have sex. I don’t even remember the night well but I do remember walking back and forth around her house naked upset and confused, peeing on her bed and tearing a poster of hers off the wall.
So this was all my fault of course but what I’m trying to say is…Shit happens in this life! Plenty of it. But for all the shitty things that happen we can choose to learn something. When we are given money, sure it’s nice but we didn’t put effort into getting it so where are we when It’s gone? Looking for another handout. When we work for money we realize we need not rely on another to make more.
I don’t want to preach at all. I believe in a God that adheres to no religion. I believe he loves us all and his blessings are the tough times in life because the hardships are when we truly grow if we only learn to accept them. I have had many hardships in life and I am gifted by all of them now.
I’m losing myself now, and my train of thought. Sorry.
I wish I could articulate myself better as well as help you but if nothing else maybe my story will give you a laugh and help you feel a bit better.
Good luck friend.
Hey man,
Sorry to hear what your going through. I can’t know everything you’re going through but maybe my experience will help.
I just wanted to say I have felt a lot of what you’re feeling, I don’t even know how I made it through it. Then it happened to me again. And after that time I realized “Wow I love this girl in a way I’ve never loved anyway, and this really hurts. But I loved the first girl in a way I never loved anyone either and here I am stuck on someone else.” Sounds like a worse situation but it actually made it better. It made me realize as much as I love this girl(whom got married in December.) I know that my hear will eventually allow me to love another in a way I never have before, more strongly than I ever have before which doesn’t seem possible but it happens twice so it must be. I know I’ll find someone eventually. And quite honestly looking back I’m glad I never married the first girl. Though she is great and in some ways I still love her. I realize now what I couldn’t have realized then, that there is somone better suited for me and I will find her. Keep your head up. I hope things get better.
I’m convinced Satan has its hand in the deception we call God just look at all the good shit happened to the most garbage pos people I know man that’s y people snap
Understand a fundamental fact, this girl your obsessing over isn’t interested in you, at the end of the day she sleeps with another and she’s very happy to do so, she’s in love, or at least she thinks she is. You need to move on and stop letting a women who doesn’t know you exist mess with your head.
But I actually DO know her. And I just CANT get over it no matter how hard I try.
Hey… It’s ok… I hate to tell you this… but the truth is life will go on… even if ur wounds won’t heal…
I have been in the same situation as you before…
A girl who I have been dating for almost 6 years… just left… on my birthday… with absolutely no indication…
I suffered… I swear… I poured my heart and soul into loving her… and she is just gone…
…
…
Its been almost 4 years since that… my heart is still plainly dead… just can’t find a way to love again…
But life’s gotta go on… I still live through this dread everyday… repeat the something… and on… and on…