I came here a year ago as close as I have ever come. I tried to OD, kindof…you know what I mean but the will to survive stopped me from going all the way. I tried to hold on, fought but its not going to get better. I have tried to understand and cope with what my wife of 28 years wants but I can’t. My health gets worse and she just isn’t going to be there for me. She “didn’t sign up for it” I guess our vows meant only if we both stay healthy but whats done is done. Every ounce of trust is gone, shes had numerous affairs, seeing someone now and thinks I can stay at home while she “gets her life back”. I wish I had that option but the hurt is so severe inside, it literally causes my heart to go into AFIB and I end up at a hospital. I cant cry anymore. I cant handle the physical pain alone anymore. I just want it over and praying that I can find the strength to end my life finally. I think I am almost there but I wanted to thank those that talked to me a year ago. It helped during that time and I took some of the advice. Sadly this time no advice or anything I do is going to change anything. I just hurt so bad inside all the time I cant even smile or laugh anymore. I hope this journey in the afterlife really is there and hopefully it’s peaceful without all the pain. Ive lived thru enough in this life. Peace to everyone
3 comments
I don’t want to be blunt but this is rather scumbag behaviour of your wife…
Sometimes it’s hard to cross that thing that stopping you even though you know you have to. If you know you need to end your life the hardest part is not being able.
I don’t believe God would want you to end your life. Heaven wants us to realize that we can make the Earth like Heaven. If we just try. Think about it why hasn’t God taken you himself? We have to change the way we live. Not die.