I had such migraines lastnight that I was throwing up (bonus on that maybe I lost some weight) and they’re not leaving today either all the pressure all day plus not to much sleep maybe an hour or two and I just feel like bitching about it. I’m tired of always being tired, I’m tired of pretending, I’m tired of the pain. Can I just have a day where I don’t feel anything? My ma keeps asking why I’m crabby today. I’m really not though I’m just not pretending to be happy. And then I got a message from one of my friends (who’s really not my friend just someone I hookup with on occasion) asking why I’m avoiding him, and I said I’m not I’m working over night all week and he’s being all moody about it and is now mad at me now. I feel bad that he’s mad even though there’s nothing I can do to change it. I’m just tired I need some relief but I won’t drink cause I refuse to do that when I am working just cause I work with kids. I was contemplating just making a few cuts to relieve my stress but If I cut to deep n need stitches I don’t have any of that with me, and I won’t be home till Sunday. Again just bitching about nothing and everything. Side note I read a post today that said someone commits suicide every 40 seconds, so every 40 seconds I count out I think that could be me, but I don’t have the balls to do it. Cause I care to much about how other people feel and I don’t want to upset anyone. Stupid brain.