Maybe someday I’ll come in here and say guys I’m finally happy it happened…. but today is not that day. Nor will tomorrow be that day or ever really. I’m beginning to think this life is meant for nothing but to be sad, depressed, angry, all the dumb ones. Are we the ones that are broken? I don’t know. I don’t think I’ll ever know. I’ve held on so much longer than I ever expected to. I can truly say I’m only still here for other people. Sorry to be a Debbie downer but that’s how I’m feeling and I know y’all are the only ones who I can actually say that to without the fear of upsetting someone.
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“Only still here for other people.” I get that. There are three people who know I would still rather not be hanging on, yet they keep encouraging me to stay, and for the life of me I can’t figure out why they are so persuasive. They tell me what a gift I am and stuff. Surely I can’t really be all that.
Enough about me, good to see you posting again wanted.
I got into a fight with my sister a while back because one of her friends commited suicide and I told her I was happy for him to finally be free she got angry and said that’s horrible. Little does she know I’m so jealous that he was able to, I’ve tried a lot with no success and it angers me.
Oh man. I know what you are talking about. I used to wonder how come they could go through with it and I could not even when I had all the right tools, tons of opportunity, tons of reasons. Yeah, I was mad at myself too.
No one can answer what “normal” is for me. Shrinks only made it even worse. My god, yes, are we really the messed up ones? I don’t know but for its a battle that’s lasted with me for over 20 years. All the college, education, success and I’m still lost inside my world of chaos. Normal? Yeah, right. Opinion of what you think Mrs Shrink.
I refuse to see a shrink because I know they’ll put me on meds I don’t want to go through life with a pill that “forces” happy feelings I know I don’t want to be on this earth I know i will never be truly happy it’s the reason as to why I’m such a spaz I’m opposite of most depressed people I’ll make everyone laugh and laugh with them then I’ll go home and cry and cut myself till I fall asleep. And I’ll continue to do this till the day I can finally figure a way to die
Absolutely nothing would ever make you happy?
No.
You can’t imagine a life anywhere doing anything no matter how “impossible” it seems?