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Thinking.

by MidnightGlade

I still remember when I first found this page, and well, so many things have happened since then. When I look back at the past years, it gets blurry. I can remember some events, and it is hard to explain, but it’s like they are just there. I feel dissociated from them. And it is like I forget about them unless I am really thinking about them or I have one of my off days. I thought that I had gotten better at handling myself, and for a while, it was true. But this year, as well as the last months of last year, have made me feel mentally exhausted. I feel tired all the time, and when I arrive home from school, the first thing that I want to do is sleep. I used to have insomnia but it went away on its own. I guess that nowadays my sleeping schedule is off, really off, and recently I have been having really bad migraines. I have medicine for them, but sometimes it feels like it does not work, and taking more than I am supposed to could be very bad for my health. There are days where I almost spend the majority of sleeping. And even when I wake up, I’m still tired. I guess that one good thing is that I only have one week left of school, I can do it. The bad thing, on the other hand, is that my school isn’t the most forgiving with the workload that they give students. And even if it were an easy subject or one that you like, you keep adding project after project, and eventually it’s too much to handle. And for me, it doesn’t help that the latest projects and assigments that we have been doing are in teams. I don’t particularly hate being with people, but I dislike it. If I can, I avoid being around them. Even with my friends, there are limits to my contact with them, and that severs any ever lasting bond that we could create. It certainly isn’t any help that I can’t tolerate any loud soud, because of my migraines. There are times that I’m at school and my classmates and friends are macking a lot of ruckus. And when I complain abouth these kinds of things with my mother, as calmly as I can, she just says that I’m just doing a tantrum. I am god at anger management, but sometimes, I can’t help  but snap at her. And when I do, I feel exhausted afterwards. That’s it for now, Bye!

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