two years

  March 1st, 2018 by miszion

today, it’s officially been two years since you fell into that coma that would take your life five months later. my heart is no more less broken then it was the day I got the news that you weren’t waking up, I am no less shocked when I think of you laying in that hospital bed, and no less ravaged by this sadness then I ever have been since this day, two years ago. when does the pain begin to fade, and I begin to move on? it’s been two years, two fucking years, and I still expect to see your name pop up on my phone screen, or hear your laugh erupt from the other room as you play video games with your friends. I still wake up wondering why you aren’t next to me. I still have sleepless nights when you are doing laps around my mind, not allowing me to get any peace. I miss you so fucking much, CH.

I had a job interview today for a job that’s on the opposite side of the country. it went really well and they already contacted my references, who I can trust to give me the most amazing references ever. this job is only seasonal but, maybe getting away for four months and being in the wilderness will help my soul heal a little.

maybe. hopefully.

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