I am a coward. I have lived all my life with low self-esteem, and I have developed a very complex coping mechanism to avoid failure, I just don’t do anything. And the times I try I screw them because I doubt of every step I make. And socializing it’s the same, near 29 year old and not even close to be in a relationship. I’m such a big disappoinment. I’m so used to living in isolation, in my own prison, that I don’t have any kind of hope of changing. This whole mess is just me, the one I have always been and the one I will always be.
So I have my rope ready, I wish so much that there were a way to just disappear and not hurt anybody. I have a twin, it would have been much better if we were only one.
I hope everything is clear, I’m another non-native english speaker.
2 comments
Yes, that’s something i’ve done often too. Just doing nothing because i was affraid to fail, but i’ve even done much bad things to prove myself i’m worthless.
Did you never have a relationship? Are you a male or female? I think there are more people like you so you won’t need to stay alone.
I’m the same way.
The hardest thing to overcome is yourself… But it can be done.