Its crazy how everything changes, last year I wouldnt stop going out on weekends, careless and having fun. Now I barely go out, have lost friendships because I dont like to meet up and my only company is wine. Im wasting my young adult years and I will regret it so bad in the future, wish I would have the strenght to end it all for once.
F*ck depression and social anxiety
2 comments
I’m in the same position as you except for the wine. If I go out and buy alcohol my parents will start asking me a billion questions on why I’m drinking. Even though I’m a grown adult.
You are lucky you have wine to make you forget about things for a while 😛
Reminds me of a song (somewhat): youtu.be/qlQbMmFlnuY
18-19 was when I was most socially active. It felt good, and it felt right. Now when I do head out with my friend, or roam around on my own, I look at everyone else doing their thing… and I feel sorrow. In that moment they are as we humans are meant to be: in the company of others. Maybe they’ve always had someone by their side, all their lives. Maybe this is a first meeting and, perhaps, the start of something more?
The thing about being too in touch with yourself, and being able to relay the emotions of those around you without the express intention of doing so, is that you also feel that pain and anxiety. But, more often than not, no one else does. Or if they do, they don’t bother addressing it, instead passing it off as “just one of those things”.
There are friends who you can spend time with, and perhaps forge something more with as well. Then there are those who you can truly be yourself, without fear of judgement, abandonment, or ridicule. Though I may have less than “a lot” of those people in my life; I know they’ll always be there. Maybe not in person all the time, but “there” nonetheless.
~
This made a lot more sense ten minutes ago. sigh