Do you remember me?

Hi, everyone.  I haven’t written in a very long time.  Time to make a decision for my life, but nothing worked out the way I wanted it to.  The school I’ve wanted to go to for years rejected me, and now I’m stuck because my parents want me to go to this one school but I won’t be able to study dance there which is the only thing that has staved off my depression.  But the only place I got accepted where I can study dance you have to audition for and I missed the deadline so I’d have to wait a year and what if they didn’t accept me?  And my parents would be so disappointed in me if I took a gap year.  I feel lost, more so than I have in awhile.  I’ve tried to stop cutting and actually been successful for a little while.  Earlier this week, I had a relapse and cut myself though.  Everything overwhelmed me and I just wanted to cut myself over and over like I used to.  Also the only person who really believes in me is moving away really soon and every time I think about it I have a panic attack because I’ll probably never see them again.  WHY AM I ALWAYS SAYING GOODBYE??  It’s so unfair!  I’m tired of saying goodbye to everything and everyone that means anything to me!!!  My heart is breaking over and over again in my stupid chest!