I have never seriously talked to anyone about my depression before and I’ve always kept this part of me a secret due to the mental health stigma in my family.
Both of my parents see stuff like “depression” or “anxiety” as weaknesses rather than an actual mental illness.
Because of this, I felt as if it’s shameful to feel this particular way. My parents also looked down upon me whenever I’d cry, especially as a young child.
Rather than comforting me, they always got upset for seeing me be sad or stressed. Just a week ago, my dad yelled at me for being frustrated over filling out paperwork for school. I don’t think he understands that my negative emotions only affect me & not him…
I’m the one who feels them.
Not. Him.
I’ve always felt as if I had to keep all of my negative thoughts and emotions to myself, because I knew that if I conveyed my bad feelings in front of my family, they’d get upset…
…and it’s awfully suffocating.
I do not like keeping everything to myself. I hate it. I want to talk about it. I want to be able to express myself without having to worry about being lectured or yelled at by anyone.
I feel as if I shouldn’t be punished for simply feeling a negative emotion.
I want to feel as if I’m allowed to express myself.
4 comments
Just feel free to post here whenever you want to talk about your depression. Anyway, welcome to the suicide project.
I can’t say I know how it is, cause I’m not you, but I can understand how suffocating and hopeless it can be. Even if your parents will never ever understand you, just know that depression is a disease. Not a matter of opinion, it’s a fact. And like most diseases, it can be helped and maybe even treated.
Just hold on a while longer. You’re always welcome here!
My parents were the same way. I didn’t seek professional help until I was living on my own and married.
I kind of understand. Sometimes, it was better not to show anything, because then you won’t be judged and you can avoid the confrontation that comes after.
I think it’s safe to say that you can freely express yourself here. And sometimes, strangers are better listeners than those closer to you.