First post! // Calm vent.

  April 1st, 2018 by shioko

I have never seriously talked to anyone about my depression before and I’ve always kept this part of me a secret due to the mental health stigma in my family.

Both of my parents see stuff like “depression” or “anxiety” as weaknesses rather than an actual mental illness.

Because of this, I felt as if it’s shameful to feel this particular way. My parents also looked down upon me whenever I’d cry, especially as a young child.

Rather than comforting me, they always got upset for seeing me be sad or stressed. Just a week ago, my dad yelled at me for being frustrated over filling out paperwork for school. I don’t think he understands that my negative emotions only affect me & not him…

I’m the one who feels them.
Not. Him.

I’ve always felt as if I had to keep all of my negative thoughts and emotions to myself, because I knew that if I conveyed my bad feelings in front of my family, they’d get upset…

…and it’s awfully suffocating.

I do not like keeping everything to myself. I hate it. I want to talk about it. I want to be able to express myself without having to worry about being lectured or yelled at by anyone.

I feel as if I shouldn’t be punished for simply feeling a negative emotion.

I want to feel as if I’m allowed to express myself.

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