I feel lost

Everybody has a phase in their life when they feel lost, in my case it never seems to end. With every passing second there’s a gnawing sensation in my gut that I have lost a huge battle. I fight this battle every day in vain. The irony is I’m my biggest enemy.  I’m letting myself down everyday. I try and I fail .  It’s been so long now, I’ve grown tired of failing… I’m not tired of trying… I’m in anguish of getting up everyday facing my fear and coming back to my bed at night with the same fear of not doing enough, only to do repeat it all over the next day… I want salvation…. but the only way that I think I’ll get my salvation is by keep on working on these fears…. so I am cheerful on the exterior but from inside I silently wish for it all to be over soon, but this fear won’t go away Beacause I won’t win from myself, it’s hard to beat me