I miss him so much

I’m not sure if ive mentioned this before, but my best friend in the whole world died a couple of years ago, and I still blame myself, and I miss him every fucking day. Even though I have a job I like, a nice place to live, an amazing girlfriend who is my soul mate, and my few hobbies, I still feel empty and alone without him on more than a few days every week. I loved him, ane he didn’t deserve to go out like he did. I finally went to his grave for the first time a month ago, and feel like ill be visiting a fair amount this summer. Summer was when we became friends and when we made most of our awesome memories.

I just feel so alone, he was the only one I could talk to about anything and trust him not to betray that trust. My gf is also my best friend, but being my gf, there are some things i inherently don’t want to talk about with her. I’ve been trying to find more friends, without success. Its hard for someone like me. I just wish he was back here. I wrote a song about him not too long ago, and am working on finishing recording. But it’s so hard, he was a musician as well and would have been able to help me. I cant help but feel like ill never find someone like him again. He was such an amazing person. Anyways, I miss you man, and ill always love you. Hope you’re at peace.