I think?

If it’s a surprise I’m gay… wow right? Sometimes I think I can find love but I know I’m never gonna get it, my mind plays tricks on me saying “He likes you” but then just have my heart ripped out and broken into pieces. Turned into dust, having dreams where I’m happy and everything is right but it can’t be like that can it? So why do I care he’ll never like a disgusting broken boy, yet I still want to try. Whenever he wanted to ask me to go somewhere with him, see him at the park, or even when he acted like a dog to make me smile, when he see’s me sad and has to say “Hi” and make a joke to just make me laugh. I think I love you even though I don’t know what love is but I still want you, but I can’t even have you.