Waiting Game

I realized that I am just playing the waiting game at this point. I’m not really concerned about what happens this semester anymore. Whether I fail miserably or squeak by as per usual, I just don’t really care anymore. I miss work. I miss being able to go and just do something and get paid. I’m actually looking forward to something and that is working full time during the summer. Now mind you I know the difference between working as a means of getting something extra and working to survive. I’m not saying that I want my life to depend on weather or not I get some asshole his cheeseburger on fucking time, but I can’t help but feel at ease when I work a job like that. The feeling of not being consitently graded all the time and endless amounts of tests and work projects and other shit. You just get the guy his food or ring him up or whatever and then you are done with that guy. Typing this I realize that that might sound contradictory, because all you do is ring up people and it’s the same shit and everything. I realize that I’m rambling. What I mean to say is that I realize the irony in finding comfort with working a repetitive job like that when the main problem I have with life is it’s repetitive challenges. It really doesn’t make any sense, so that is why I’m having such a hard time communicating that idea. Thing is, I guess I’m just not cut out for it. Life I mean. It’s just one thing after another. I realize that people work to be happy and that’s the nugget that everyone seems so invested in, but I can’t help to think that all of this is just tedious. Maybe I’m loopy. Oh well. I guess I’m waiting.