I guess I just need to vent. I am 23 and feel like I am just a person incapable of thriving in this world. My dad killed himself when I was young and my girlfriend left me three months ago. I think I would be able to get over this, if it wasn’t because I am just socially retarded. I honestly have no clue why she stuck with me for 1,5 years, or how I managed to get the friends I have. I dont want to stick around to lose my friends as well. I dont see how anyone could ever want to start a family with me, and that is all I wish for. I have spent the past month researching how to kill myself. Wished I could avoid pain, but also want it fool-proof, dont want to end up in a hospital. My dad managed to do it with gas, I envy him for being gone. I want to join him. I really miss him. My mother is amazing, and I am so sorry for doing this to her, but I can’t live only for her. Life hurts way too much. The only relief I have from pain, fear and self-hatred is when I sleep, and when I wake up I just try to sleep more, to avoid waking up to 16 hours of dread, only to repeat this shitty cycle of life. I even ordered plane tickets to buy poison from a rural country, but found out that people often survive that stuff. Why is suicide so hard. We are on an overpopulated earth, this should be seen as a god damn favor. What I would not give to go to sleep and not wake up. Have considered drowning, but I am scared of it, and no body left to find. I would love gas or poison, but research tells me it aint fool-proof. I just want to go. Please. I tried to fight to be here for my mother, but I just can’t anymore.
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Since you mentioned plane tickets, they offer euthanasia for depressed people in belgium, Denmark, and sweeden. I recently read about a dutch 29 year old woman named Aurelia Brouwers who received euthanasia for depression, which is why I know about this. Im not sure if you have to be a resident or not though .
Suicide is hard for a lot of reasons. Love for others, biological responces to danger that you have to overcome, even wanting to know how Star Wars ends. Its a different answer for everyone.
@zigzag ZigzagHoly shit, are you serious ? I live in Denmark. Can I do this?
You probably can. While I believe this is still true, the clinic in the story I read is in Holland, the netherlands. But yeah. you just apply, and the doctors will try every available treatment to improve things before they sign off on being euthanized. They give you a liquid that quickly puts you into a deep sleep, and eventually, your heart stops. its supposed to be very peaceful.
No you can’t. They don’t offer it in Denmark. Also, that is inappropriate to tell a suicidal person.
Youre probably right. Im not trying to cause issues, so I apologize. I guess I wasnt thinking.
Sorry, didn’t mean to sound like the police. I know why we’re all here.
No, I totally get it. Im suicidal myself, so Ive been thinking about these things. To casually talk about it is easy. I wasnt even thinking aboutbit honestly. Im glad you reminded me.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/society/2018/mar/17/assisted-dying-euthanasia-netherlands
^^^This is the article I read btw, if youre interested
It is probably the same liquid I was going to try buying, but death is only guaranteed with injection. I will look into it, thank you
I hope things imrpove for you, and that you wont need to do this after all. I understand though, since I feel the same way.
When I was young, I was quite self-effacing and often tried to put others first. Then psychiatry (and the self-help brahs of the Interwebz taught me to put myself first, bla bla bla.
All I can say is that putting others first felt a lot more meaningful. This “be kind to yourself” meme feels like a dead end to me.
Muspelhem. you are so right. That’s what usually keeps me going. I know that i don’t really deserve others, and i think other should not waste their time on me, however, being kind to some people makes me feel at least a bit good if just for a moment. I think that a lot what is being taught these days by the web and stuff just makes things more complicated and worse for me.
So I greet a stranger every day. Even if it is just a “Hi” we exchange. I do all kinds of random acts of kindness. Little stuff. It does far more good for me than I would have imagined and is a real part of my (dare I say it?) healing.
Perhaps you are like me…have had some issues in life…been sad for a very long time…see some good in yourself and want to live but are so weighed down by your sadness of the past and hopelessness you see in the future that you feel the only option besides trudging along aimlessly would be to go ahead and clock out
also i don’t recommend the internet as a whole for any person who is depressed. The overwhelming, instant, often biased, misleading, misinterpreted or outright false information is just fuel to the fire for a mentally ill person.
Your title sums up my feelings perfect. Im 23 also been ready for 10 or so years to end my life but no way to, so I sit here, scroll around here and waste away
Is hanging that bad that it’s not even being considered , is there something I don’t know about hanging?
If you do not die instantly, hanging can be so very painful for a long time. And will probably traumatise whoever finds you, but to be completely honest, if I knew I died fast, I would do it.