I don’t understand why I’m still here

Nothing about myself is worth anything . I am ashamed of who I am , I hate looking at myself in the mirror , there’s no light in my eyes. Someone who doesn’t even have crazy problems as a lot of other people do .. How could I be that someone who wants to leave this body …? I have it so good comparative to other situations , but that doesn’t change the way I feel . I’m closed off , unreceptive to advice over the screaming echo in my head louder than any voice . I don’t have the courage to pull the trigger and that makes me feel even weaker