Always brooding.lost somewhere.talking very less and slow.postponing and delaying are my all time companions.still 7 years left to get out of this prison.so much considered useless that unofficially abandoned by family. No good money with me.no contact no phone calls with family it’s really painful just invisible so low energy so bad communication so bad cognition so harmless that I am best alive vegetable.wats d point living I will never know only this part I know best.its body my head that feels a lot of pain but I am sure that pain is coming from within don’t know wherefrom.so can’t kill the body coz it’s feeling the pain not causing pain.life seems such a burden like a giant foot pushing my head to the ground. when I come out this prison I will be old weak no more looker will never find my love. Just watching suicide videos porn then playing it in my mind all the time.good job Satan you don’t leave me even in my sleep. I guess my purpose in world to be a shock absorber and nothing else makes sense