Last words

To whom it may concern –

If you’re reading this – it’s already too late. I’ve lived long enough – arguably on borrowed time. I can’t remember a time in my life when I wanted to exist. I’ve only stayed around as long as I have for the sake of others. I haven’t lived for myself because I never wanted that. The world seems hell-bent on torturing me and leeching my sanity day by day. Please – don’t feel guilty. Do not question what you could have done to prevent this because the short answer is that there is nothing you could have done.. Do not grieve. This was inevitable. This decision was not made in an impulsive haste but was the result of years of intricate, well thought-out planning and consideration. For me, all roads eventually lead to suicide. I opened Pandora’s box at a young age, and my box was missing the one positive thing – Hope. For me, the future doesn’t exist. I apologize in advance for any pain my actions tonight have caused, and I know there will be an initial stage of shock and grief. But trust me when I say you are all better off without me. And in due time you will realize that. I’m sick of being a burden on those of you who are close to me. I don’t want to hold you back anymore. So while freeing myself from my demons – I am setting you free as well. Take comfort in the fact that I’m not in pain anymore – the tortured soul finally rests in peace. I am no longer a prisoner in my skull, at the mercy of my own sadistic brain. I am no longer plagued by extreme self-loathing. And while I love and appreciate you being in my life, I warned you about getting too close to me – I told you things would eventually go south. This was simply natural selection. Thank fuck I didn’t live long enough to pass this weakness down to a precious little human of my own – to taint the future of the species. I’m also sorry about the mess – a bullet in my skull was the only way to ensure this worked as quickly and efficiently as possible. I have one last request before I bid you farewell: I do not want a funeral or a memorial service. Don’t waste your time and money. Cremate my body and dump the ashes into the stream in the woods behind my childhood home – the only place I ever truly felt at peace. Let your sorrows be washed away downstream along with my remains. Then, forget about me, forget I ever existed, and move on with your lives. Be fruitful and prosperous. Make the very most of the time you have. I love you guys, but it’s time for us to part ways. Love, light, and blessings to you all. Goodbye.