Sometimes I feel these feelings, brought on by nothing. Or maybe brought on by some words, some sort of small event that triggers these memories in me. But it’s not the memories that come back…not really.
Instead, the feelings come back. The memories are hazy in my mind. Sharp pangs in my heart, not bad, not good…tightness in my throat. These kinds of things. I would have liked to see her again, if it were at all possible. If things had worked out that way. But they didn’t.
These vague memories are like colors swirling in the back of my mind, no real substance. So many things have happened since then that they feel almost unreal. But I’m thankful for them. I’ll never forget what those days meant to me, the hope I felt, the sadness I felt, the despair I felt…an amalgamation of stabs in my heart, one after another, each a different type of pain.
While this warmth lives with me in my heart, I can go forward. One more step forward.